Psychosis means a loss of contact with reality; it is a symptom of a number of mental illnesses rather than a medical condition in its own right. The plight of those suffering from this disorder is often heart-rending.
About the Book
The book PSYCHOTIC IMPRISONMENT, tells my story of a lifelong struggle with bipolar and depression. It is a tale of childhood bullying, love, loss, depression and all. It gives a concise and detailed narrative of what its like to suffer from mental health issues.
Psychotic Imprisonment is my hauntingly stark autobiographical tale of love, loss, possession and everything in-between, augmented by my own poetry. It is a detailed account of daily life with an unremitting struggle against depression and Bi-Polar Disorder. The intent in writing this book was cathartic, however I also wished to raise awareness for those people, or for people who know those, with similar conditions, and break the taboo that is currently surrounding mental health.
I have to admit, it was with a great deal of trepidation that I took on the task of putting my experiences down on paper, being an Asian woman of Pakistani descent, it was difficult to contemplate being different, bringing it out in the open to the attention of others was unfathomable. Since its publication I feel I have taken the boldest of steps to break my silence.
My book is currently being sold on Amazon where it has received five-star reviews. I have used social media platforms including Facebook and Twitter to promote the book and it is gaining a large show of interest from all over the world. Many of my followers on social media are bloggers of literature and can reach a fan base of like-minded people which is potentially in its millions. So far the feedback from the online community has been very positive indeed, I have included some quotes from readers reviews:
“Psychotic Imprisonment is a phenomenal book that captures the reality of life and the difficulties us human beings face…” Alexis Hunter
“…I really loved the book; it brings opportunities and new beginnings. By reading this book you will definitely allow some sunlight into your life.” Nenad Djordevic
I have sent copies of my manuscript to psychiatrists in many different countries including the UK and several are keen to not only read it but offer it in their practices, both private and within the NHS. My local mental health hospital itself has plans to recommend the book to patients. I set up meetings with some libraries who have shown great interest in the storyline and have agreed to stock my book. The outlook on the decision was very encouraging to say the least, with the Deputy saying that my design of the book was different, appealing and impressive.
Looking to the future, all the while juggling a husband and four children, through this website I plan to set up a supporting webpage and blog with a discussion board for my readers and use my experiences to help others in mental health recovery centres and welcome my readers to contact me. Time to Change and SANE have both asked me to write articles for their magazine and blogs, they have found my biographical of the book to be an outstanding and powerful representation for mental health disorders.
This manuscript is a testament to my own mental health and achievements. I really hope that you enjoy the read and welcome any and all feedback.
PSYCHOTIC IMPRISONMENT isn’t just tales and all. It is spiced at intervals with Marrya’s frank and moving poetry.
In a world where psychotic patients suffer depression and are faced with a bleak future, PSYCHOTIC IMPRISONMENT offers a relief, and hope. Hope earnestly sought for.
The Front Cover
The front cover is the vision of my entire life summed up on a page.
The lady, or rather the girl, that you see in this picture is me. She may not look like me, but she certainly resembles how I feel emotionally, inside and out.
Being locked up in chains demonstrates the feeling of imprisonment my mental health leaves me with and represents the agonising pain I’m feeling inside. She has her hands over her ears because there are so many voices I want to block out.
Having her hair in a braid is symbolic of the innocence I carry, while the bleeding on her arm represents my self-harm.
I’ve divided the page into halves; one I’ve called the Dark Side, and the other I call Heaven and it is how I’d like my life to be. In the sky of Heaven, you will see birds flying – four of them, in fact – these four birds are my children, and they are also represented this way in a tattoo I have on my left wrist.
The sunflowers in the field on the Heaven side represent the brightness I want in my life; the flower field is one I sat in when I was a little girl.
The Dark Side has the wheat grain plant running through it, which takes me back to my childhood and the bad memories it holds. I’ve put the owl on that side because the owl is a nocturnal creature and it stays awake for me at night, fighting the demons to protect me and its red eyes defend me from the devil. This is a tattoo I have on my right foot.
The pebbles that you see on the pathway create words that signify the journey of my life so far. I’ve tried to incorporate and blend the colours of the pebbles as that is for the viewer’s eyes and imagination and for them to point out.
The title, Psychotic Imprisonment, is me in a nutshell. Psychosis is the dilemma of the symptoms that I’m still desperately trying to understand and imprisonment is me
trapped in that psychosis, not knowing how to get out.
I hope you, the reader, can imagine and feel all the pain that I felt throughout the journey of my life, and I sincerely hope that in one way or another you’ll be able to connect with me.
The Back Cover
My back cover is inspired by my very first chapter. I have tried to capture the setting of how I remember it at the time of that incident. The girl in the basket hiding, but still peeping through the hole of the weaves is me, my fear is so visible through my facial expressions and my tears. I hope once you read my first chapter you are able to agree with me in saying now it makes sense.
‘A goldmine of words, a great sense of confusion, with every word I try to create the illusion.’